Alex and his manager, Toni, are wrapping up a normally scheduled weekly cadence meeting. They both have their webcams on.
“That’s all I have, Toni,” Alex says. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about this week?”
Toni stops writing and looks up at the screen. “Actually, Alex, I’ve been wanting to talk with you about Michelle. Since you’re her mentor, I wanted to fill you in, get your perspective and see what you’ve noticed working with her.”
Alex looks concerned and a little confused. Toni pushes through. “Today, I received a call from Pat, related to a conversation Brandon had with Michelle about a potentially complicated employee separation matter.”
It has been a few weeks since Alex and Michelle had their virtual meeting where they discussed Andi. Alex had not had any lengthy interactions with Michelle since the one conversation when they had discussed Andi, and had not raised the issue with anyone since then. Alex heard that Pat started leaning on Michelle to help with some HR matters that Pat did not have the bandwidth to handle.
Toni continued, “It seems Michelle kept failing to recognize appropriate pronoun use for one of Brandon’s team members while on a phone call with him, and said something like she’d never get used to it. This bothered Brandon. I know you and Michelle are really close and I thought you might be able to give me some insight into this.”
Toni sees some realization wash over Alex’s face. Alex starts to respond. “Unfortunately, I’m not super surprised by that. Michelle and I actually had a call recently, where Michelle let me know that she had a really hard time with gender-neutral pronouns. We talked through it a little bit and I tried to help her understand. I don’t think Michelle is doing it to be mean or anything. I just don’t think she’s used to this level of attention and inclusiveness and she doesn’t seem to appreciate how important it is for some people and for our company.”
“I understand where she’s coming from.” Toni remembers the challenges of trying to get used to the English language. “When I came to this country from Finland in 2006, it was so interesting to me to learn that English has gender-specific pronouns. In Finland, pronouns are always gender neutral. It was hard for me to switch away from that. Could there possibly be a language barrier? Or another barrier that we're unaware of with Michelle where she may need additional training?”
“That is interesting.” Alex responds. “Unfortunately, in this case there is not a language barrier. Michelle and I actually often joke that people think she should speak Spanish, but she doesn’t. But, I don’t think Michelle intends to be harmful or offensive. I hate to see her get so caught up on this, but this is important! And I don’t want the company to appear to be alienating colleagues because it doesn’t appear inclusive.”
Toni understands where Alex is coming from, but also wants to make sure that Michelle understands the company’s policy on identity. It’s important that all of the colleagues get the training to support that effort.
“That makes sense. For now, I think since she’s helping me out with some HR matters now, I’m going to chat with her and assign her a couple of DE&I classes, so that she can increase her awareness and understand how important this is to the company. I’m going to need to keep an eye on this, though. Thank you, Alex. Hopefully, this will help.”
“No problem at all. I really hope so too.”
Key considerations:
If available, sharing DE&I training is always a good way of educating employees.
If appropriate, gauge the input of key individuals within the organization to help formulate the proper actions that need to take place to further DE&I learning. Depending on where your company is at on its DE&I journey, it is important to consider providing DE&I learning and encourage open conversations to further advance the initiative.
What would you like to do next?
Would you like additional resources to learn more about the concept of gender-neutral pronouns or other topics discussed in this path?
📖 Read about the importance of developing diverse leadership within an organization.
📖 Read about promoting gender identity.
📖 Read about the top 34 types of diversity in the work environment.
📖 Read about how the Supreme Court’s ruling on LGBTQ protections affects your business.
📖 Read a general discussion on gender neutral pronouns.
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